The Top 10 Things I would like to hear at the rumored Mats Sundin Toronto Press Conference.
10. I am here to announce my immediate retirement from hockey.
9. I have signed a contract with the Florida Panthers.
8. I have a cure for cancer.
7. I'm gay.
6. ...and Toronto can kiss my ass.
5. I'm looking for a long term deal.
4. It burns when I pee.
3. I decided 4 months ago. What, J.P. didn't give you the message?
2. Eklund was right.
1. I'm sorry.