Season in the Abyss.

So for some reason I found myself reading through the pages of NHL.com today, and they have story about the similarities between hockey and heavy metal. It's fine article and all, but I was left a little disappointed. You see the photo that accompanied the link on their main page was that of California's own, Slayer, wearing custom Dallas Stars jerseys, and the article was about Talent, Unity, and Intensity. Not the Metal Gods in the photo. So I simply googled, Slayer + NHL to find the original article that accompanied the photo, and that my friends is a good read. It's written by Jere Lehtinen, for the Dallas Stars Homepage. It's about how he went to a Slayer concert last summer, as a feature for the league. They knew he was a die hard fan, and set the whole thing up. I guess thats a pretty sweet perk. Whens the last time your job flew you out to go backstage and meet your favorite band?

I think the NHL should do more of these features to sell their product. It's nice to see a player with a personality. that doesn't just listen to the status quo Nickleback or U2. Maybe they could do a feature on a player that has a love of movies at his local independent theater, or a player traveling through Africa? Not just the same standard hockey player in an NHLPA baseball cap, on a fishing boat,with a can of beer, and an ah shucks attitude player profile that has been shoved down our throats for the last 20 years.

But at the same time, at least it's not the NBA.

A mid summers night rant Part 2

I was thinking about all of the stupid non-stories that have dominated the hockey world this summer, and I thought I would make a list of the Top 5. I figured it would obviously include the whole "Where will Sundin end up" thing, and the "Where will Burkey be next year" fiasco. But also the slightly smaller stories like "Was Finger given Kurt Sauer's money" thing or the "Will McCabe waive his no trade" storyline. Thats when it hit me. I don't know why it didn't before, but every fucking story revolves around the Toronto Maple Leafs for some reason.

I don't know why I'm surprised, because it's been this way for ever. Whether it be the complete domination of HNIC, or the top story on TSN every night, Toronto dominates the hockey talk. And for years it didn't really bother me because they were a top market that iced a competitive team. But now, they are a lonely turd, and even their fans are sick of them. So why must we still be bombarded with this inane bullshit?

This is basically just a continuation of the rant from last night, but sometimes I dream of waking up in an American city where Toronto doesn't exist. Imagine a place where Cliff Fletcher was just a confused senior citizen and not a constant target for quotes, or a TV that didn't have constant Blue Jay games, or Raptors coverage. I dream of living in Chicago where the pizza is deep. Or New York where they sell hot dogs on every corner.

Maybe I'm just hungry...

Fuck, I did it again.....anyways,....fuck Toronto.

The End

A mid summers night rant.

Remember when the NHL didn't have a boner for US television markets? Back when there was no Hockey Commissioner (thats right they made that tile up special for Gary). Remember when there were the Campbell and Wales Conferences, and the Divisions were named after dead assholes? Those were good times. That was before shitty hockey cities won Stanley Cups, and pucks started to glow. I think there needs to be a change.

I think hockey is a regional sport, just like Nascar. Nobody from the north gives a shit about cars racing in a circle (except for a small minority), and nobody from the south gives a fuck about a bunch of Canadians skating around in a circle (except for a small minority). The only difference here is that Nascar doesn't give a shit what the North thinks, and the NHL loses hours of sleep over why the South doesn't like them. "Is it the fighting? We can change that! Is it because the puck is too hard to see? We can fix that! Please tell us what to do, and we will do it!"

How about this? The NHL comes to terms with the fact that it isn't ever going to go up against Footballl or Basketball or Baseball, and just caters to their hardcore fans. It worked for Nascar, why wouldn't it work here? Fuck Sunrise, and Nashville, and give Winnipeg another chance. I know they are sorry for whatever it was they did. How about Green Bay? That town has like 3 people in it and it sells out a football stadium every week.

And while we are on the topic of basing the NHL on other successful sports models, take a page out of the NFL's marketing book. You know how everybody in America owns a football jersey? That's because they don't cost $300. They practically give them away. Actually so does every other major US sport.

Sometimes I think the NBA sent Gary over to the NHL because they were getting to close for comfort. "Gary, your mission if you accept it, is to head up to Canada, and fuck shit up".

Anyways, this post is getting way too long. Basically, fuck everything.

The end.