This Just In: Tavares Sucks

TSN wants to let you know that someone thinks that Tavares is not the #1 pick in the draft. Hell, he's not even the #2 pick in the draft!

Also, Calder finalists announced: Mason, Ryan and Versteeg. I'd put up a vote, but I'm tired of hearing how great Mason is. Maybe if they get swept people wll actually give Ryan some consideration (I know, I know it's based on regular season but everyone knows that's a load of horseshit). I think Ryan or Rinne deserve it more.

Sean Avery can't keep his dick in his pants.

I don't want to go into too much depth on this because I'm sure I'll be writing essentially the same post every week for the next foreseeable future, but NHL Herpes Generator, Sean Avery, has decided rub up against Calvin Kleins ex-wife Kelly Klein (who is like 70 years old).

Apparently Sean buys into the Quantity, not Quality motto when it comes to the ladies. I for one would rather stick my dick in a rattlesnake than anyone over 50. It just seems so,...you know...ewwww.

Also, Sean is pimping suits with shorts instead of pants. What the fuck is wrong with that guy? Someone needs to lock him in a room with Nolan Ryan for a few hours. I figure we would open the door and either find a fine young man with a good work ethic and a nice haircut, or a bloody sack and a note on it with directions to the dump.