The Slowest Three Minutes In Hockey

Dunce starts us off tonight, with a quick piss and moan about how Kovalev got a penalty for being the second Hab ejected during a face-off. He lets us know how rules are "insane". Then, to prove that he knows what he is talking about, he puts on a caveman/Tarzan-esque voice, evidently to show us how linesman talk. It's ironic that he is the one who sounds like a caveman, voice mask non-withstanding.

Then het gets mad because Justin Pogge stepped on some Bruins' skate and fell down. Don would have us beleive that the goal should not have counted, as there should have obviously been a penalty. Never mind that the Bruins player was being ridden into the crease by a Leaf. And never mind that Pogge was up in time to make the save but just gave up. I'm not sure what's more pathetic, the fact that Don is still updating us with Leafs' info, or the fact that I am passing it on second hand.

So finally we ge to to Ovechkin, and the Coach's Corner RESPECT t-shirt. Cherry totally fucks my post at this point. He praises Ovechkin and infers that he is an ok guy. He even goes so far as to say he will win the Rocket Richard (not a bold statement were it from anyone else's mouth). Then he praises him for not "jumping around" after he scores and empty netter... Are you even serious? Like Ovechkin would do that? He also mentions that no one should ever jump around. Oh yeah? What about this:


Then Don lets us know that it IS ok for the Oilers team to jump around after Roloson's 51 save performance the other night...Fuck, I am almost as confused as Dunce was when Ron mentioned politics.

Small-town Canadians are also the best, according to the Dongler. The best at shoveling chikenshit.

Two Peas in a Pod

Brian Burke has announced that he is seeking to get Dave Nonis in on his new Maple Leaf regime. Now, not only will Toronto have to increase its supply of potatoes and Jameison's, the city's restaurants will also have to start locking their lard dumpsters.

Thrashers slightly less shitty.

If you are Atlanta, why would you deal for a good player? You see, in my mind, adding Matty Schneider makes the Trashers better. So whats the problem? Well, he doesn't make them that much better. He isn't going to turn the arguably worst team in the NHL into a playoff contender, but it could turn a Tavares pick into a Toni Rajala pick. And that is the same difference between picking Sidney Crosby and Jack Skille. How about this for an idea Atlanta. Just sit back, relax, let Kovalchuk dazzle your fan for 5 months, then ride the draft wave into 2010. Also, if you don't do this, Toronto will, and we can't afford to let those guys have anything. Why? Fuck you, that's why.

Also, why is a player that is supposedly that good on his 8th team? Whats up with that?

Kicking guys while their down is fun.

It's been a long and hard fall for JFJ.

One day you are the Vice President and General Manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs, and the next you are a scout for the San Jose Sharks. Yikes.

And what exactly do the Sharks hope John is going to bring to the table? The same amazing instincts that told him to deal Tukka Rask for Andrew Raycroft? Or maybe they need to tap some of the super brain that felt renting Brian Leetch was worth Jarko Immonen & 1st round pick. No, no, I know it's because the Sharks want a guy that has the guts to hand out no-trade clauses like they were going out of style. Yup, thats gotta be it.

PS - Hey Doug, if that's the kind of guy your into, I'm sure Brian will let you have Cliff in about 10 months.

The Leonsis Strikes Back.

So if you are a fan of Puck Daddy like I am, you may have noticed that they have been running a little bit the last few weeks or so called"5 ways I'd change the NHL". Everyday they get a sports media personality to submit their list, and they are usually pretty interesting or at least funny. So what am I getting at? Well a few days ago, Ross McKeon, NHL editor for Yahoo Sports threw his hat in the ring and stated he thought a few teams should fold, including the Washington Capitols. Well, I guess he forgot that Ted Leonsis is an avid blogger himself, and he proceeded to fight back. Check it here.

I don't think Ted Leonsis gets enough credit for being such a pimp owner. Everyone always talks about Mark Cuban in the NBA, but Ted is the shit himself. The guy is featured in commercials for hockey, he has a daily blog, he is in the stands with the rest of the clowns. He is pretty much like me or you if we had an NHL team. I wonder in Washington knows what they got? Look at the shit show in Toronto. Or the Soprano episode in Vancouver. If only every team had a Ted or Mario or those two hippies that bought the lightning.

If only.

Thirds & Turds.

We gots overselves some of them third jersey logos thanks to the good people (probably) at Icethetics. Wanna check 'em out? Follow me...


Here it appears that Wayne decided to give the coyote head a body. It's nice I guess, I would have opted for this instead.


And the good old boys in teh ATL have decided to do the Dallas thing. I would have just gone with this instead. I feel it has a certain, je ne sais quoi.


Looks like the bruins are taking a trip in the way back machine for this little piece of bread and butter. It's good, but not great.


We already saw these bad boys at the Winter Classic last season. So why is on this damn list? We might as well show a picture of Dan Hinote's wife nude.


The sharks are moving the arm patch to the crest. I for one think that something, something, more pics of Dan Hinote's wife nude.


The Lightning decided to go with something retarded.


And the Leafs.