Turtle Burgers etc...

So it has been about a week since we have posted anything here. On one hand, I feel kind of bad when the Dump gets neglected like that, but on the other hand, I don't give fuck. It's a tight rope we walk here.

Now watch this, and we'll talk after...



So, it's a clip of Martin Havlat as a faith healer. Ya, I have no idea either. All I know for sure is that I fucking love it. Whoever made that needs to quit his job as a truck driver or florist or whale hunter or whatever, and start making shitty YouTube clips full time. I'm not sure if it would pay well, but damn, art isn't always convenient. Also, here is a clip of Kovalchuk face raping Brian McCabe all over the A.T.L. (Note: it made me bleed cum).

You Can't Shovel Sunshine

David Shoalts at the Globe and Mail has gained some insight into Bryan McCabe's departure from the Leafs this off-season. McCabe's comments aren't exactly Herculian:

“There were a lot of contributing factors,” McCabe said, adding this will be his first tropical winter. “Hopefully, that will let the body recover more, so I can prolong my career a little bit. And the wife's not going to complain about having to shovel the walk every day.”

I don't know what his ultimate goal is but this doesn't exactly scream Stanley Cup. Guess that's why even the lowly Leafs were willing to let a top-scoring D-man be a southern-snowbird.

NOTE: I think his wife would trade anything, including snow-shoveling, for not having to cut-and-dye those shitty play-off mohawks (even if she suggested it). Also, replace the above mentioned "shovel the walk" with "board up the windows due to hurricane Blank" and T.O. might seem a bit warmer.

A mid summers night rant Part 2

I was thinking about all of the stupid non-stories that have dominated the hockey world this summer, and I thought I would make a list of the Top 5. I figured it would obviously include the whole "Where will Sundin end up" thing, and the "Where will Burkey be next year" fiasco. But also the slightly smaller stories like "Was Finger given Kurt Sauer's money" thing or the "Will McCabe waive his no trade" storyline. Thats when it hit me. I don't know why it didn't before, but every fucking story revolves around the Toronto Maple Leafs for some reason.

I don't know why I'm surprised, because it's been this way for ever. Whether it be the complete domination of HNIC, or the top story on TSN every night, Toronto dominates the hockey talk. And for years it didn't really bother me because they were a top market that iced a competitive team. But now, they are a lonely turd, and even their fans are sick of them. So why must we still be bombarded with this inane bullshit?

This is basically just a continuation of the rant from last night, but sometimes I dream of waking up in an American city where Toronto doesn't exist. Imagine a place where Cliff Fletcher was just a confused senior citizen and not a constant target for quotes, or a TV that didn't have constant Blue Jay games, or Raptors coverage. I dream of living in Chicago where the pizza is deep. Or New York where they sell hot dogs on every corner.

Maybe I'm just hungry...

Fuck, I did it again.....anyways,....fuck Toronto.

The End