Bottom 5 trades of the NHL fiscal year

Part two of the analysis of this year's trades. You could say "Hey, wouldn't the worst trades be the other end of the best ones?" No. They wouldn't be. Stop being an ignoramus.

HEEEEEEEERE WE GO!

5. Matt Carle/Dan Frtische (pick a trade)

Analysis: I really hope one of these two gets the hat-trick before the deadline.


4.The Phoenix Coyotes acquired center Olli Jokinen from the Florida Panthers for defensemen Keith Ballard and Nick Boynton as well as a second-round draft pick in 2008

Analysis: You can spell the word Joke in his last name. Fitting. The paycheque is the big hurt in this one.

3.The Dallas Stars acquired defenseman Darryl Sydor from the Pittsburgh Penguins for defenseman Philippe Boucher.

Analysis: This trade blows because of the pure wash of it all. Why would I trade naked pictures of Williams' grandma for naked pictures of Towers' grandma?

2.The Atlanta Thrashers acquired defenseman Mathieu Schneider from the Anaheim Ducks for defenseman Ken Klee and wingers Brad Larsen and Chain Painchaud.

Analysis: Schneider's point totals in the ATL were poop. Does Burke still owe them a favor for this deal even though he is with Toronto now? Also, who names their kid Chain when his last name is "Hot-bread"?

1.The Tampa Bay Lightning acquired defenseman Andrej Meszaros from the Ottawa Senators for defensemen Filip Kuba and Alexandre Picard, plus a first-round draft pick in 2009.

Analysis: FUCKING OWNED! Man Tampa is amazing...

Ovechkin, Malkin & Wheeler sitting in a tree...

So I was sitting on my fat ass watching hockey this last week, when I gots to thinking about Vancouver's Roberto Luongo, and his shut-out streak. I was thinking that if anyone had a shot at breaking the 2004 Brian Boucher record of 5 consecutive shut outs, it could be him. then I got to thinking, that it's pretty amazing that Boucher, essentially and career back-up and AHLer, even had that kind of streak on his resume, esspescially since Phoenix sucked it that year. He basically gave them a reason to get excited about hockey in the dessert for a couple weeks. He basically handed Phoenix 10 points. Thats not something alot of people can say. He must be really proud. Oh, and also, he fucked that organization for at leats a decade.

So what the fuck am I babbling about? Who gives a shit about 10 points on a non-playoff team from 5 years ago anyways? Well think about it. If Boucher didn't get on that hot streak and gift wrap 10 points for the dessert dogs, they wouldn't have finished 24th in the NHL, and recieved the 5th overall pick, choose Mr.Wheeler, and watch him walk from the fanchise to go to Boston without ever playing game, but, they would have finished tied for dead last in the NHL. So what, you say? Well, if they had finished dead last that year, they would of had a pretty amazing fucking chance of bagging the 1st or at least 2nd picks that year, which turned out to be Alexander Ovechkin and Evgeni Malkin. Not too shabby.

So where would the Coyotes be if they had one of the top 3 players in the world right now? Hard to say. But you can sure as hell bet they would be better off than they would have been with a Blake Wheeler, and a 5 game game shut-out streak from half a decade ago. Don't cha thnk?

Anyways, I have to get back to sitting on my fat ass. eating cookies off of my belly. Pantless. I just thought I'd share that thought with you.

g'night.
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