Showing posts with label bertuzzi. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bertuzzi. Show all posts

3.1.09

The slowest three minutes in hockey LIVE BLOG VERSION!

Well it's that special time kids. Cozy up by the fire. Especially if you live in Vancouver, since we are now two weeks into our best impression of a Quebec winter.



When the irishman takes over the barn will be full of respect. The barn being Toronto's shitty NHL ice rink and the irishman being this drunk.

Oh wait, that's not Brian Burke, that's a drawing of George Parros. Oops.

Mike Keenan is a great head coach because he stuck with Todd Bertuzzi. Like he fucking has anyone else on that team to use?

God I love crocodile tears almost as much as the term itself.

I had to explain my need to watch Dunce to a friend so we could turn off the WJC. Not that he asked for an explanation, just cause I felt like a fruitcake requesting to see this guy. At that point my friend told me about some "beer league dude that got in a fight and smashed his head on the ground. Then he went into a coma and passed away" After I had made fun of him for about 5 minutes for using the term "passed away" for someone other than his grandmother, it turned out my good friend was clairvoyant. It's a good thing Stef was around to explain to me what had happened, because all Dunce and Ronald did was flash his picture on the screen and mention he succumbed to his head trauma. Had I not had the inside scoop I would have assumed he was another dead soldier.

I bring all this up because the dead head-trauma-passed-away-motherfucker was pertinent to hockey. He died in a hockey fight. Dead soldiers do not pertain to hockey (and don't you fucking dare bring up some shit about fighting for freedom and without freedon there would be no hockey. That is some fucking hippie douche nozzle shit that I will light you on fire for). However, Duncey and Ronnie swept a death from fighting under the rug and decided to play dead-soldier-facebook instead, throwing up pictures of some fat dead guy's wedding and some salad tossing at a local legion. He also faked crying (rock the croc Dunce!) during the cut-out to the pictures.

Side note: Is Coach's Corner always sponsored by Moore's? Does that mean they hasve to make Don's suits?

23.9.08

It's a long way to the top if you want to Rock & Roll.



DC's Newest Post-Punk Band is here (video below).

Vox - Alex Ovechkin

Lead Guitar - Jose Theodore

Rhythm Guitar - Nick Backstrom

Bass - Brooks Laich

Drums - Mike Green

Band Manager - Chris Clark

Security - Matt Bradley & Donal Brashear


Is it just me or does Alexander Ovechkin not get better everyday? You don't wouldn't ever see Todd Bertuzzi doing this shit. Long live the new NHL.

21.8.08

44 Problems but a bitch ain't one.



So I was partaking in a little Sports Radio this afternoon, and the big story of the day seems to be that a minor league defenceman (Baumgartner), has decided to wear Todd Bertuzzi's number 44 , two years after he was even a Canuck. Seriously. The poll question is "Is the number 44 cursed?" Apparently being cursed means you bash in another players skull from behind (Bertuzzi), or you were traded to Philadelphia (Babych). Keep in mind, the Babych trade happened in 1997, and he went from one of the worst Vancouver squads ever, to a cup contender. What a horrible curse. Will it's reign of terror never end? Man, I hate the off-season.

Speaking of shitty polls, check out the new one on HockeyDump today! (Last weeks Poll winner was Bob Probert in a landslide).

21.7.08

Greg Moore signs with the Rangers.



Wait,..didn't Greg Moore die in an Indy race?

or

Wait,..didn't Greg Moore die in a Bertuzzi attack?

or

Wait,..who the fuck cares?


All three work perfectly.