Kane and Toews become awesome.

So Patty Kane and Jonny Tazer decided to become legit dudes. Check it out:





Toews' advert wins (even if he's not going to the All-Star game), as they diss the English and soccer. Why is it that Chicago and Washington have the coolest dudes in hockey, and Canadian teams don't have a single ounce of personality on their rosters combined?

Also, Toews rips because of this:



That's the best hockey interview I've ever seen. Short, sweet and sweary.

There's no crying in hockey.

Someone needs to change little Patty Kane's diapers. Crying over a fired coach? Are fucking kidding me? What's going to happen when his buddy Jonathon is eventually traded? Is he going to slit his wrists, and write a dark poem?



You see, this is what happens when you yank kids out of High School when they are 14 to play semi-pro hockey. They don't learn how to deal with everyday problems, and turn into little emo babies. Fuck, what would Nolan Ryan think???

Note 1: Thanks to Les Merrick for the link.

Note 2: Thanks o Snoop-a-Loop for existing.

Theo Fleury is the Michael Jordan of hockey.

Little Theo, (Tip: don't call him that when he's been drinking), has a new plan that may or may not include a Substance Abuse and Behavioral Health Program. He is going to play baseball. Fleury is planning on suiting up for the Calgary Vipers of the Northern Baseball League this weekend, against the Yuma Scorpions. Quick question, where the fuck is Yuma? Another quick question, what the fuck is the Northern Baseball League?

Sooo, based on his previous experiences with semi-pro leagues I have never heard of, this should go about as smoothly as a bear in a honey tree. But in this case the bear is a tiny alcoholic ex-hockey player, and the honey is most likely an innocent bystander that was given free tickets to a "baseball game". I hope that poor bastard has medical. Play Ball!

Oh, and one more thing, the Northern League has an Edmonton franchise named the Cracker Cats. I just imagine the logo being the side profile of a white guy, a la Blackhawks.

Scotty Bowman clearly remembers WWII.

Hall of Fame coach, and nine time Stanley Cup Campion Scotty Bowman left the comforts of Detroit to take postion of Senior Advisor of Hockey Operations for the Chicago Blackhawks this morning. I guess the big question is, why? Is it because he sees no room for advancement in HockeyTown? Is it because he feels he could use a new challenge in his life? Or maybe it's just to be closer to his son, who is the Assistant GM of the Hawks. These are all very plausible reasons, but I believe it's something much simpler. I think Grampa Scotty may have been bitten by the senility bug.

You see, this happens to 75 year old men from time to time. They just wake up one day and go wondering, and sometimes find themselves in another city. It's Ken Hollans fault for not putting one of those identity bracelets on his wrist. He probably wondered into the local Piggly Wigglys with his pants off, and the police just took him to the nearest hockey franchise in hopes someone knew who he was. But it's not all pant shitting for Bowman, he has many qualities he can bring to the Chicago table. He could be in charge of eating dinner at 4pm, or driving 60 kms on the highway. And if someone in the office needs some toffee, or one of those pill holders, with the different days of the week on them, he will be the first one on the case. Yes sir, Scotty Bowman is a fine and logical addition to the youth movement of the BlackHawks. It's just weird how Detroit didn't seem to put up much of a fight.

Note: The hockey card above is older than Mats Sundin. Bowman is 50 in it....FUCKING 50!

NHL Concept Logos

Do you like really shitty NHL concept art like I do? If you do you are gonna love this. Icethetics is a great blog that I believe started last summer as The NHL Tournament of Logos. It basically put all the NHL's logos up against each in a bracket format to try and see what the best one was(The Habs won if I remember correctly). After that it started to cover the new RBK Jerseys as they were released and it kind of avalanched from there. It's a great place to go and look at all the fan created concept art for their favorite teams, as well as all the new third jerseys that are coming out this summer. I figured I would start a daily post (starting tomorrow) of some of my favorite concepts, and do it team by team. There is some really cool shit, but most of it is fucking horrendous (above). Enjoy.

www.icethetics.blogspot.com