The top 10 Most over rated NHL players.

Roberto Luongo
You are often called the greatest goaltender in the world, but you have yet to accomplish a fucking thing (unless looking like a greasy turtle is an accomplishment).

Martin Havlat
What? You managed to play a whole week without injuring yourself? Holy Fuck! Someone plan the parade route!

Eric Staal
8.25 Million? For what? Ray Whitney is outscoring you and he has been legally dead for 5 years now. Also, your eyebrows are the same color as your skin and freaking everybody out.

Jordan Staal
"But my name is Staal also. Me good too?" (said in retard voice).

Alex Kovalev
You have only broken the point-per-game mark twice in 17 years. Fucking Twice! Why do people think you're good? What are you a hypnotist?

Olli Jokinen
A decade of hockey, ZERO playoffs. Wow. Even i could do that. Can I have some money?

John Tavares
With all this hype. if you don't win the Stanley Cup by the All-Star break next year, you are a fucking disappointment, and should kill yourself. (And yes, I do realize that he isn't in the NHL yet, but if he was REALLY that good, he would have found a way to be 18 by now.) Also, someone needs to introduce that kid to some Pro-Active.

Rick Nash
6 Foot 4, 218 Pound Pussy.

Jay Boumeester
Career high of 46 points, and that was 4 years ago. Thanks for that. Also, your name is stupid.

Mike Komisarek
I don't care if you can body check a bear into next week, 10 points a season is ECHL territory. Also, I'm changing yours and Boumeesters names to John Johnson for while. It just makes things so much easier around here.

Top Ten Hockey Nicknames....EVER!....(Part 2)

So way back in August or September or something, HockeyDump contributor Jason Towers made a list of the top hockey nicknames of all time. I have decided to add to this list? Why? Because it's a slow news day for hockey, ok? Give me a fucking break.

So since he claims his are the Top 10, I guess mine have to be numbered 11-20. Click on the link above to see Mr.Towers version of things.

• 20 - Larry "Little Dempsey" Aurie

• 19 - Max "Dipsy-Doodle-Dandy" Bentley

• 18 - Alex "Fats" Delvecchio

• 17 - Marcel "Little Beaver" Dionne

• 16 - Tie "The Albanian Assassin" Domi

• 15 - Jimmy "The Blonde Bouncer" Fowler

• 14 - Tom "Tommy Non-Stopoulos" Koustopoulos

• 13 - Bernie "The Pumpernicholl Kid" Nicholls

• 12 - Nels "Old Poison" Stewart

• 11 - Henrik" The Iceberg" Zetterberg
  
  

Honourable mention goes to Joe "The Duke of Padocah" Klukay for being a Duke, and for being from Padocah. Both great feats.

Who is this Mats Sundin you speak of?

The Top 10 Things I would like to hear at the rumored Mats Sundin Toronto Press Conference.

10. I am here to announce my immediate retirement from hockey.

9. I have signed a contract with the Florida Panthers.

8. I have a cure for cancer.

7. I'm gay.

6. ...and Toronto can kiss my ass.

5. I'm looking for a long term deal.

4. It burns when I pee.

3. I decided 4 months ago. What, J.P. didn't give you the message?

2. Eklund was right.

1. I'm sorry.

Out of Africa: Top 10 NHLers born in Africa.

The Chicago Blackhawks announced today that they have signed their 3rd Rounder form the '07 draft, Akim Aliu. Why is this news? It isn't. But ya know whats kinda neat about it? Akim was born in Okene, Nigeria. This of course is a great opportunity to post the Top 10 List of NHL Players Born in Africa. Ready? Let's go.

10. Akim Aliu (Nigeria) - Blackhawks


9. Rumun Ndur (Nigeria)- Sabers, Rangers, Thrashers


8.Chris Nielsen (Tanzania) - Columbus


7. Olaf Kolzig (South Africa) - Capitals, Lightning



So I guess 6 through 1 will have to wait a few years, since only 4 NHLers in all of history were born in Africa, and I think only 6 have been there. Maybe it's time for a little exposure for our foreign friends. How about instead of playing those pre-season games in Germany and Switzerland, the send the Rangers, Lightning and Sens to Botswana and Togo? Maybe after that kind of exposure we can add a few more names to the list by 2028? Now thats what I call global marketing.

You can also check out the South African Ice Hockey Association website here.

Top 10: Philidelphia Flyers Fans Edition

This is a tribute to the biggest assholes (meant lovingly of course) in hockey. They are the winning losers, they are the fans of Philadelphia. I should preface these clips by saying that I am not from Phily, but I have been there, and I have walked the great parking lot of stadiums and arenas, and that place scares the shit out of me. It doesn't even seem like they are Flyers fans, as much as they are haters of the other 29 teams in the league. Actually they are haters of any other city on the planet. Not to be to dramatic, but there was a garbage can on fire. Who lites garbage cans on fire? When did Phily become the Thunderdome? Either way, this is the Philadelphia Flyers Fans Top 10.


10. "My name is mother fucking Philadelphia"


9. Sidney Crosby is Gary Bettman's daughter


8. Sooo, do they like Ovechkin, or....


7. The video here is bad, but the guy yelling "Faggot" morphing into chants of "USA, USA" is pretty amazing. Only in America.


6. Booing the Canadian National Anthem. Too good.


5. They scream "sucks" after every Kings player is announced.


4. Then this guy showed up...


3. They start them 'em young in the city of brotherly love.


2.Crosby Sucks


1. This is not only one of the best flyers fans clips of all time, but one of the best hockey clips of all time.

Top 10: Bad Ass Masks Edition

1. Gary Cheevers - Boston Bruins 1975


2. Doug Grant - Detroit Redwings 1971


3. Gary Simmons - Cleveland Barons 1976


4. Murray Bannerman - Chicago Blackhawks 1980


5. Curt Ridley - Vancouver Canucks 1976


6. Wayne Stephenson - Philidelphia Flyers 1978


7. Jacques Caron - St.Louis Blues 1971


8. Bernie Wolf - Washington Capitols 1978


9. Gary Bromley - Vancouver Canucks 1980


10. Gilles Gratton - New York Rangers 1976


To check out more classic masks head to Masks from the Past.

Top 10: Islanders Edition

Top 10 Things the New York Islanders could do to improve their situation...

1. Be relevant.

2. Explain to Charles Wang that he is not Mark Cuban.

3. Promote Garth Snow from figure head GM to stick boy.

4. Get more players born in Korea like Richard Park.

5. Go back to the highliner fishsticks jerseys of '97.

6. Move to Brooklyn. The Brooklyn Islanders? that shit is pimp.

7. Acquire a player in his prime.

8. Pay Streit more money.

9. Bring Dennis Potvin back.

10. Kill self.