HockeyDump's European Vacation

Dear friends & lovers...

I am currently sitting on a rented bed in the south of France, sipping on an 8 Euro bottle of Ballantines, and reading some of the many beautiful hockey blogs that clog up not only the intelligence of your average hockey fan, but also my "Favorites" folder. I am delighted to report that hockey is as alive and well in the throws of the Mediterainian as it ever was, and that "acting like an entitled cunt" is still in the height of fashion on the mean streets of Cannes. That being said, what's new with you?

I also wanted to ask you all wht the fuck is up with Oshie? I have only been gone for a few days, and when I check in it appears the entire hockey world has taken to sucking some serious T.J. dick. When I left, he was a somewhat underachieving rookie, mixed in with a bunch of other underachieving rookies on an overachieving Blues roster. Did he score 8 goals in a game? Did he punch a ref? Did he urinate on an Avery? Something big must have happened, because every fucking blog I visited is on fire with TJ Gayness (Trademark Pending).

Also, I like that Jason Towers finally got off his lazy ass and posted something. I think he owes Mr.Spec7ral a beer for holding up his slack for the past 4 months. And by "holding up his slack", I mean "puching orphans in the poop hole". Anyways, I don't even know what the hell I'm typing anymore. I am going to go back to my Scotch, and Comedy Death Ray mp3s.

Fuck the police,

- Davey Williams, European Giggalo

PS - My spell check is broken,....so fuck you.


Spec7ral said...

The next woman you see in the streets say "Putain" and spit in her direction. It shows respect for the female gender in that country. Then walk towards her with your dick out grunting "Salo". Repeat until you are King.

jamestobrien said...

Spec7ral is a pretty god damn smart person. Smart. And worldly.

Is your profile pick Kipper smoking btw?

Spec7ral said...

Fuck , I wish, it's just me. It's actually kinda hilarious you ask, as one of the guys in our keeper pool is the spitting image of Kipper. I look like a larger piece of shit, without the red-headed stepchild slant.

Jason Towers said...

jamestobrien, your comment/question made me laugh my ass off for reasons stated above by Spec7ral.
I thank-you for that.

Davey Williams said...

I yelled "Putain" at some girl yesterday, and she just started to rub her greasy cheese on my leg. What does that mean?