The slowest three minutes in hockey, cry-baby edition

So Dawn starts off tonight harping about playing Carey Price in back-to-back games. You know what Dongle? Go fuck yourself. These are paid frigging athletes and they should be able to work for an hour on back to back days. To say that someone hasn't been the same since, well then maybe they should stay in the fucking minors. Like you did for your playing career.

Dunce then gets a laugh out of the Semin fight, which, I have to admit, is pretty fucking funny. However, him yelling "BELA LUGOSI!" at the top of his lungs throughout was not. I thought he had just finally cracked and was spewing random nonsense, but his boyfriend Rawn said "Belarus" so I guess this was some sort of jab at Belarusians, kind of like if I walked up to Richard Park and pulled my eyes into slants. Except Bela Lugosi was some ugly dude from the 40's that played monsters in black and white films. Fuck this is getting confusing. I THOUGHT FEBRUARY WAS "HOCKEY IS FOR EVERYONE MONTH FFS"!!! Off course, all the pictures I've seen tend to seem like february is "Hockey is for Black People Month"... but I don't want to touch that with one of President Obama's ten foot cigarettes.
Moving along.. Dongle praises Savard by chanting his (french) last name over and over "savvy, Savvy. Savvy" kind of like the way Bill Murray mumbles @ those old ladies while he's washing golf balls in Caddyshack.

Then we get treated to some blimp's eye view of some fucking game of shinny that Doug Gilmour and some other dried apricots are playing in BELA LUGOSI!!! BELA LUGOSI!! (Kingston Ontario). Then Don goes on to tell us how he used to sell rabbits there for 50 cents. Well it's a good thing that it's "Hockey is for Everyone" month, because Dungaroo isn't the only guy who sold rabbits in his childhood!

"When Santonio Holmes is darting around the grass of Raymond James Stadium on Sunday as the Steelers' big-play receiver or punt returner, few people who see him might know where that crazy zigzag speed came from.

Not too far from here, where the Pittsburgh Steelers and Arizona Cardinals will play in Super Bowl XLIII, there is a town in the midst of a swamp where the children catch rabbits in the muck and mud.

Catch them by hand.

At 7, 8-years old, the kids chase the rabbits and grab them and club them with a sugar cane stalk. Then they put the rabbits in a backpack. When they have enough rabbits, up to 20 for a day's work, the kids sell them for $3 apiece. The coveted cottontail, especially good for soup, can fetch $5.

'We'd punch them in the head, chop them in the back of their neck to kill them instantly,' Holmes said yesterday. 'We had no remorse for those rabbits. We were hunting, just like people out there surviving.'”

Fuck, hockey might not be for everyone, but dead rabbits are?

Man, that is one disturbing picture.

Dunce then gloats about the fact he predicted that someone would eventually get their achilles sliced by a skate. Way to go numbnuts, we've already had two guys get their necks slit, what a big limb you went out on picking a part of the body that's 5 inches from the blade itself....

Then they play some sort of fucking serande to Don. It basically shows him chewing gum and adjusting his trousers while number 4 makes him look good to some song about "Baby, you're the best". Then they pan to Don and he's all misty-eyed. Then I puke in my hands and come back to finish this post.


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