Ok, so you remember at last year's All-Star game in Hotlanta, (I know, I hate that shit too, but I am trying to up the "Urban" readership), during the skills competition, they had that celebrity judged trick shot competition thing? You don't? Oh.
Well, they did do that thing, and it was the shittiest thing that ever happened in the history of mankind. Why? Well, I'm glad you asked. You see, the moves by the likes of Ovechkin and company where amazing, but none of them could score. You see apparently, the goalies didn't exactly warm up to the idea of being the bitchs of the situation. So really, all you had was some sweet stick handling, and a mediocre save. RATINGS GOLD.
I am basically on this rant because today the announced they are going to fix last years "situation", by grabbing some local amateur goalies, and shoving their fat asses in net for the whole thing. Wow, really? Isn't that kind of like getting some super hot porn star, gussing her up to the tits, and then bringing some fat fuck in there to plow her? Wait. That is exactly what happens in porn isn't it? Hmmm. Maybe this won't be so bad after all. As long as they don't make Getzlaf do any DP, this could be the best All-Star Game ever!
Second thought, Getzlaf getting it from both ends might just be that little something that finally makes America open their eyes to this "Hockey" we've been pedaling all this time. And side note, the biggest celebrity judge last year was some guy named Taylor Kitsch, who may or may not be a mailman. Fuck, let's just bite the bullet and get Elisha out on the ice. At least you know the players will have a little fun with her after right? That bitch has seen more NHL rubber than Gary Cheevers face. Zing!
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