Questions about the Young "Stars" Game

1) On what planet is Mason Raymond considered a star? (pun intended)

2) Is this the only goal Luke Schenn will score this season?

3) Why do I have to listen to Luc Robitaille cough into a microphone?

4) Is Luc ailing?

5) Why do I have to watch replays instead of the actual "game"?

7) How many jokes can Luc Robitaille make about playing the trap in 2 minutes?

8) Where is Pesonen?

What the hell was that?

So there I am, sitting on my couch, eating a bag of Lay's Original, minding my own business, and it occurs to me that the Skills Comp is about to start. Now normally this would be when I have my afternoon nap, but I spilt ice cream on pillow at breakfast. So I decide to give it a go. After 5 minutes of trying, I manage to flick the clicker up to my hand with my foot, and change the channel to the old trusty Canadian stand by, CBC.

It all starts of fine, with Ron Maclean talking about some bullshit with a couple of douche-bags, when he cuts to the player "introductions". Hmmm,....how to put this...It was mind blowing. And I don't mean mind blowing as in "good", I mean mind blowing as in "I just picked up a gun, loaded it with a single bullet, and blew my brains all over the wall.

Here is the play by play exactly as it happened...



1. A circular stage covered by a sheet sits at center ice.

2. A silhouette of a man playing an organ appears.

3. Curtain drops, to reveal a feeble old man that be best described as "not famous in the least" playing the organ.

4. Cut to some 30 something blond coug. She is singing. Something.Poorly.

5. It would appear the are playing and singing a song about introducing hockey players? Maybe?

6. A lot of jumpy starts and stops that may or may not be covers of songs you might hear a a dj play at a minor league hockey game.

7. Or maybe a soccer game.

8. Or in the Italian part of town.

9. It suddenly ends to a wave of silence.

10. They introduce the players in not English.

11. I flip to my PVR'd episode of Little People, Big World. I fucking love those little guys. "She can't reach those pedals, she's a midget!"