The slowest 3 minutes in Hockey... a recap!

So I have missed a few consecutive weeks of my weekly rant. For this, I do apologize. I am a pretty big fan of the NFL and the weekends this time of year get pretty long and hazy. Luckily, the CBC archives all of the episodes of Coache's Corner! Now I can post a link for reference purposes, and I can also go back and make ammends for all those missing posts. So, without furthur ado (and yes, I know it's not the same as watching Dunce live, but I need the practice):

January 17th:

Today Don has decided to wear what looks like a McDonalds meat truck accident pattern. He has also decided to harp on Gretzky. That's my job Dunce, stick to attackng French Canadians. He then goes on to attack Bettman for not answering a fax he sent the commish. Hey Don, maybe that fax machine is sitting around in a fucking closet somewhere...since NO ONE USES FUCKING FAX MACHINES TO SEND EMAILS.
And any suggestion about Darren Pang is going to fall on deaf ears, it's just that simple.

Don then comes up with the brilliant idea that the Canucks should have not started Luongo once he was healthy. That's fucking genius Douche! A team fighting for their playoff lives, the only team with a goalie as their captain, and a team that pretty much blows chunks when he's not playing. Maybe next time they will send him for a conditioning stint! He was also irate that Wellwood was benched for a game. That fatfuck should have been benched for a few. He has one point in the team's last 18 games. I don't give a fuck if you're Sidney Crosby, those are bench numbers, that's how you ride the pine.


During one of the video segments, Dunce says to Ronnie "Get your hand over there" in a sort of under-his-breath wife-to-husband kind of voice. Ron responds by smiling and saying "Flowers I couldn't resist", in reference to the floral pattern Dunce was wearing. Did he just grab Dunce's junk? WTH is this a game of grabass or something?

January 25th:

Dunce "What is anthropology?"
Ron "Multiculturalism, the study of ethnicities"
Dunce "Oh..."
...
Dunce "I don't understand why you show that....I got alot of stuff tonight"

I think Dunce just got mad @ Ron for mentioning multiculturalism.

Dunce then goes on to get angry about the Allstar game's canadian contingent, saying that it is "tough to take seriously when you have 4 Canadians on out of 6." What? So Canada has started producing role-players rather than Allstars. Deal with it.

At 3:45 Dunce gives the middle finger. No lies, he flips the bird and taps it against his forehead. Best thing he's done this year by leaps and bounds.

Then Dunce talks about how Ethan Moreau should be in the Allstar game. Fuck, I love watching a guy who's played 758 games and scored 252 points. That is the kind of exciting marketing that the NHL should really go after. He also says Brendan Witt is an Allstar, essentially for getting his face in the way of a puck. I'm assuming that's why, or maybe it's his 4 assists in 37 games this year.

January 31st:

I think Doug Gilmour just gave Dunce mono. Why are they kissing again?

Cherry just called Clutterbuck "Buttercup". That's actually pretty funny, especially with the latent homosexual undertones invloved.

Then Dongle starts talking about "beautiful boys" again...

This was definetly one of his more flamboyant segements