30.11.08

Frost, Danton, the internet, and a terrible dream.



Wow...

You just can't make this shit up

It seems like a comedic bit, but....yikes. This is happening.

Former player agent and current creepy mother fucker, David Frost has decided to throw his hat into the world of online hockey with his own website. He calls it "HockeyGod.com", and bills himself as hockey's #1 bad boy. Which is weird, because you would think he would refer to himself by his birth name of "Sex Offender".

I guess it's going to be just like all the other shitty hockey sites out there excet this one will have the prespective of someone that carried on Charlie Manson like relationships with NHL players.

This is all quite odd and all, but the BEST part is when you realize there is going to be a section where you can read the jailhouse ramblings of Mike Danton, the guy who tried to hire a hit man to kill Frost. Fucking amazing.

I hope this website takes off, just so David has to be awarded some sort of media accreditation and is let into pres row at The Air Canada Center or somewhere else that's as far away from me as possible. I mean COME ON! How is this actually fucking happening? Am I on crazy pills????

So I highly suggest you check it out here, just so you can see I'm not lying, then never ever visit there again. Ever. EVER.

29.11.08

The slowest three minutes in hockey Part IV



Things I learned tonight from Dunce Cherry:

1) Mike Grier has eyes in the back of his head.

2) 3 seconds in a slow motion replay are equivalent to 3 seconds real time in a game situation.

3) Dunce is a mind reader.

4) Joe Thornton is the best player in the game because a Frenchman scored on a wrap around.

5) Evgeni Malkin is a selfish bastard (and not the best player in the game) because he scored instead of passing on an empty net, with 7 seconds left in a game (for a hat trick that he didn't celebrate...).

6) Brian Burke is going to turn the leafs around by adding a bunch of tough guys.

7) Dale Tallon is a cool guy, due to something that has to do with 19 Canadians and 1 European.

8) The leafs fucking blow almost as hard as Cherry does. (I actually worked this one out on my own)

Tony Gallagher is a fucking nonce and a ponce.

Ok, so most of you don't have to put up with Tony "Shitbag" (my new pet name for him) Gallagher's drivel. He is a hockey writer (if you can call his drivel writing) for the Vancouver Province (which shouldn't really be considered a newspaper, so maybe it shouldn't matter that he can't write). I have scarcely read the newspaper since I bought a computer 8 years ago, but sometimes (like breakfast with my slut) I pick one up and have a gander.


How the fuck does this guy get paid? I guess it helps that Vancouver only has one professional sports team due to the fact that Stu Jackson has the brain of an eagle fetus. That leads to 5 or 6 pages of stories about the Canucks in the province the day after every game. About 2 or 3 every other day, offseason included. I guess that is pretty great, if you are into finding out which way Demitra's cock was hanging when he tipped his last goal in, or if you like finding out what colour bra Ryan Walter is planning on wearing for the next game.

Anyways, this Gallagher Shitbag can't come up with a cohesive thought, hold it, or put it to paper to save his ugly fucking face. His writing style is so long winded and self-gloryfying I felt like I was listening to an Obama speech about hockey (that was Palin's gig muhfucka!) when I rad his column the other day. So ya, FUCK TONY GALLAGHER AND THE FUCKING SKATES HE RODE IN ON...bitch.

Hopefully, someday, he gets the same treatment as this Gallagher. Maybe it will knock some sense into him...




Side note: I love how the Oasis guy waits for the posse to subdue the guy before he starts acting the role. Fucking wank.

28.11.08

James VanRiemsdyk likes to act his age.



Poor James VanRiemsdyk. He is entering the NHL in the digital era, and is joining the likes of Ryan Kesler, Evgeni Malkin, Jordan Staal, Jordan Tootoo, Alex Radulov, and of course, Lil' Tlusty, (as well as countless others), as young NHLers that have been forced to share their private shames with the public via internet.

I for one applaude young Jimmy Vans binge drinking and choice in friends. It makes him more human. Have we all not been in his shoes at one time or another? Have we all not had a midnight conversation with God on the porcelain telephone? Have we all not awoken to the glories of a blurry night gone awry? Of course we have. It's all a part of growing up and testing boundries (and of course it's a fuck load of fun). The only difference between James and Stan Mikita, is Stan Mikita didn't have o deal with the likes of shitty blogs like this one, shoving his own shit back into his asshole.

So go forward sweet James, nobody will even remember this in a week. Except me. And I have a blog. Yikes.

27.11.08

Girl Fight!



Stamkos got in his first fight with fellow pussy Nikki Zherdev yesterday. It was about as dissapointing as both of their careers combined (so far).

Disturbing Update!: So it turns out that I was beaten to the punch on theis scoop (two posts ago). Maybe I should start reading this blog before I post in it. Maybe I should do a lot of things...

Dykes on Ice (or maybe something less offensive).



3 or 4 months ago, it was written in this blog that it was not in our intentions to become the TMZ of hockey blogs, but....

That but has arrived, as we are now linking to stories posted by TMZ.

So the basic story here is that a washed up actress that used to be into rich and famous lesbians that could further her career, was at a Canucks game, and a dude in a whale costume pretended to eat her. So where's the interesting part? Thee isn't one. BUT, TMZ was nice enough to come up with the best headline ever, just for you. How nice.

Also, lesbians.

Zheredev thinks he is Jarome Iginla

So you may have seen the highlights last night, but you may have not, so here is the video:


So the announcers are pretty into the fact that Stamkos is going at it. That's all fine and great, but I am pretty into the fact that Zherdev is the dude that goes after him. That is a Euro! That is sweet. The NHL needs more -200lb first round Ukrainian enforcers. Cause that's what will get the average american into watching the NHL. Speaking of America, Happy Thanksgiving and Black Friday to our American reader. I am off to eat some Turducken and watch some football, since there are no exciting NHL teams allowed to play today.

24.11.08

Lee, Carlo, Alex and Meatballs.



Lee Stempniak for Alex Steen and Carlo Coliaicovo, huh?

Well I can't say that I'm a fan of this deal all that much, mostly because I think the Leafs got the better end of the trade, and I hate the leafs with all my heart. I think I would rather watch Grey's Anatomy, than the leafs do well. It makes me sick to my stomach whenever they win. I wish them a very horrible and painful death. I hope their friends and families spontaneously ignite into flames. I hope that the whole city of Toronto gets hit by a terrorist attack. Every moment that the Leafs exist proves that God does not exist. But I digress....

The trade seemed a little odd to me because of a couple of reasons.

1) Why would St.Louis trade a guy they drafted and nurtured into a point a game guy, for a couple of shit nuggets that Toronto clearly had given up on? It just doesn't add up to me.

2) Isn't Burke supposed to be taking over there anytime now? Shouldn't you lay off of moving anyone until the new chef arrives? Maybe he liked Steen? Maybe he had other plans for him? Maybe you shouldn't let grampa drive someone else's car?

So basically, if by the end of the season it looks like St.Louis got raped in this thing, I will march around proclaiming that I am the smartest man in the room, but if Steen shows up, I will erase this post and deny all involvement.

Why am I still typing, dinner is ready.

MEATBALLS!

22.11.08

So long Canucks, have a nice Entry Draft.

So it would appear that Bob Luongo has had his groin pulled on, and in turn has flushed the Canucks hopes and dreams down the poop shoot with it. I just can't wait for the pundits to come out and say this is a great opportunity for Curtty Sanford to show what he is made of. I will tell you right now what he is made of, flesh, bone and 500 hockey. That should be good for that perfect middle where you don't make the playoffs, but you also don't get a great draft pick. I like to call it the Maple Leaf Zone.



But then again, Roberto could be back by Monday, in which case you should just disregard this post and concentrate on this instead.

21.11.08

The Rheostatics aren't doing anything to help with Canadian stereotypes.



So I figured that because he is geting his jersey raised to the rafters this weekend, we should either make a few "purse" comments, or just throw on The Ballad of Wendel Clark. And because copying and pasteing is easier than not, here is the Rheostatics.



Also, Wendel carried a purse.

20.11.08

Probert Vs Skeletor



Also, why was Skeletor's pet panther's name "Panther"? Thats the laziest writting since HockeyBuzz. Zing!

18.11.08

If I wanted my comeback, I'd scrape the roof of your mother's mouth (or something less Spec7ral-esque).




Dear Claude Lemieux,

Comebacks. They're are a pretty special thing, huh? It's a great way to prove to yourself, family and your fans, that even though you may be in your mid forties, you are still the same guy that had a couple of good playoffs like a decade ago. And where would be the best place to do this? The NHL of course. But wait? Nobody in the NHL wants you? Is it because in you last season like 5 years ago, you scored 6 points in 36 games? Hmmm,...that's odd. Normally teams would be jumping out of their seats to find a guy that can put up those numbers. Well maybe you can play in the AHL, or Europe? NO? They think you are just a washed up old man as well huh? I know! You can swallow your ridiculous fantasy of playing hockey at an even remotely competitive level, and join a league in FUCKING CHINA. Oh you have? Great. Well I guess I see you NEVER then.


Cheers,


Jim Peplinski's finger.

PS - Drapes says hey.

16.11.08

Ovechkin, Malkin & Wheeler sitting in a tree...



So I was sitting on my fat ass watching hockey this last week, when I gots to thinking about Vancouver's Roberto Luongo, and his shut-out streak. I was thinking that if anyone had a shot at breaking the 2004 Brian Boucher record of 5 consecutive shut outs, it could be him. then I got to thinking, that it's pretty amazing that Boucher, essentially and career back-up and AHLer, even had that kind of streak on his resume, esspescially since Phoenix sucked it that year. He basically gave them a reason to get excited about hockey in the dessert for a couple weeks. He basically handed Phoenix 10 points. Thats not something alot of people can say. He must be really proud. Oh, and also, he fucked that organization for at leats a decade.

So what the fuck am I babbling about? Who gives a shit about 10 points on a non-playoff team from 5 years ago anyways? Well think about it. If Boucher didn't get on that hot streak and gift wrap 10 points for the dessert dogs, they wouldn't have finished 24th in the NHL, and recieved the 5th overall pick, choose Mr.Wheeler, and watch him walk from the fanchise to go to Boston without ever playing game, but, they would have finished tied for dead last in the NHL. So what, you say? Well, if they had finished dead last that year, they would of had a pretty amazing fucking chance of bagging the 1st or at least 2nd picks that year, which turned out to be Alexander Ovechkin and Evgeni Malkin. Not too shabby.

So where would the Coyotes be if they had one of the top 3 players in the world right now? Hard to say. But you can sure as hell bet they would be better off than they would have been with a Blake Wheeler, and a 5 game game shut-out streak from half a decade ago. Don't cha thnk?

Anyways, I have to get back to sitting on my fat ass. eating cookies off of my belly. Pantless. I just thought I'd share that thought with you.

g'night.
.

15.11.08

The slowest 3 minutes in hockey. Ver. 3.0

Oh my good friend Dunce. Let me count the ways...

On Mark Messier "...ahh, he's American or sumpthin'." What?

On Wellwood "It's too bad I'm here on TV because 29 other dumb-dumbs passed on this kid, I coulda had him. And he was going to go to Europe!"

Picturing Don Cherry "having" Wellwood gets my gearbox going. Hearing Don Cherry claiming to be smarter than all GMs other than Mike Gillis is amazing.

On Brian Burke "He'll get some Canadians on this team (Leafs) and turn the ship around!"

The only Canadian ship turner they will get is Tavares, and even Milbury could figure that one out. It must also feel good to be a Canadian on the Leafs and be referred to as some sort of second rate garbage. Fucking Racist.

I apologize for not having more an opinion on this segment, I just got in and turned it on about halfway through. Probably for the best.

And now, Don Cherry getting a hard one for Scott Thompson


via videosift.com

13.11.08

The Vancouver Canucks think their fans are retarded.



So the Canucks have (through much self administered fan-fare), have revealed their new 3rd jerseys today, and looky, looky here, they are 99% exactly the same fucking 3rd jersey that they have been using for years.

It seems the Canucks think that taking their existing 3rd, making the stick a bit thicker in the rick logo, and slapping a shitty version of the Johnny Canuck on the sleeve qualifies as a completely brand new jersey that was deserving of a countdown, and special unvieling. They also produced a touching video to commemorate the event.

This is of course is just another chapter in Canucks history brought to you by the new dream marketing team that has already brought out the new Canucks propoganda movie, and the already cancelled, 7th man award jersey rafters....thing.. The Vancouver Canucks clearly have zero respect for thier fans intelligence, and are treating them like they are short bus'd toddlers. But what really bugs me, is that it won't matter in the end anyways, because the fans will get up and dump thier wallets down like robots no matter what shit sandwich they serve up.

But I guess they deserve it in Vancouver. It is a horrible sports town, and brought it on themselves. I know they would never put up with this shit anywhere else, even Long Island.

10.11.08

Blues Bankers


Here's another gem from the marketing side of hockey: The St. Louis Blues for their remaining Saturday home games will give some lucky winner 4 months paid rent or mortgage payments....Yup. So here's how I see this:

Wife-y:"Honey, the bank wants to take our home away from us, what should we do?"

Hubby: "Go see a hockey game?"

It appears the new demographic added to the Blues target audience, besides hungry fat people (same link), is now people on the verge of receiving foreclosure on their homes or notices of eviction. How else could you explain it? No other way, that's how.

By February they'll be offering a free nights stay at the local YMCA in exchange for a game ticket.

At least the Blues are living up to their name now.

9.11.08

The new guy.



So I haven't been posting as much as I would have liked to in the last week, but our new friend Spec7ral has been more than making my lack of time with a wide array of borderline inappropriate posts. Now we just need Jason to jump in and give us a post on how 9/11 never happened and we will be all but complete.

Speaking of Spec7ral, I never really had a chance to introduce him as a new writer, and now I'm glad I didn't. His posts speak for themselves. He has a good blend of sarcasm and veiled hatred for the human race that was ever so lacking on hockey blogs. His anger is sure to help attract that crucial male 18-34 market that is the driving force behind mental retardation.

So, here is a photo of the halloween costume of the year. It just further digs HockeyDump into the same old glorious hole it has found itself in many times before. I mean, is it our faults that the Malarchuk incident is tremendously fascinating? Huh? Can't hear ya. That's what I thought.

Closeted-gay-deadbeat-dads rejoice!

Glen Anderson will be inducted into the hall of fame. This is a great time for all the deadbeat dads of the world who have foregone making their child-support payments, especially those with two homes in the Carribean islands who spend their spare time golfing.


That is a picture of Glenn spending time with someone else's child.
Notice the white pants?


We here @ HockeyDump, are still working feverishly to try and substantiate the following rumour: When Wayne Gretzky uttered the famous words "I promised Mess I wouldn't do this" @ his press conference to announce his trade from the Oilers, he was referring to "outing" the passionate love-affair between Mark and Glenn.



That conjures such a disgusting visual image that I vomited slightly.

In other news that doesn't involve hockey players fucking each other, but does involve Andersons from British Columbia, Pamela Anderson has huge fucking tits.


8.11.08

The slowest 3 minutes in hockey. A weekly rant. 2nd Edition.

Ok, so I am probably going to hell in a handbasket for saying this stuff so close to Rememberance Day, but I have been known to take my chances.

On Coach's Corner, Dunce Cherry just cried, which is okay, I guess, because it was in semi-reference to his uncle who died in the war. He died in WWII and I figure that makes Dunce about 11 years old @ the time. He also said his uncle served the entire war, which means he would have last seen his uncle around age 4. Maybe he is sad that he never got to know him, thus he cried. Maybe those issues I brought up in the first edition of the weekly rant were the real reason he was crying. Who knows?

Anyways, it's definetly a nice touch honouring people who are fighting (and unfortunately dying) for the freedom of others. But did anyone notice that they had all the French KIAs @ the beginning of the segment? It wasn't by last name, or by rank, and I'm pretty sure Quebec is in the middle of the country. Why were the French-Canadians seemingly segmented from the other soldiers? I am just talking here.

As long as Dunce feels the need to constantly bring up the war like some sort of backward-thinking maverick, I will continue to draw conclusions based on little-to-no-foundation. Dunce gets paid for it, so I should be able to do it for free. If Dunce wants to take up airtime talking about the war, maybe he should use that fat head of his to come up with some ideas on how to end it. That's the only way people will stop dying. Or he could have honoured all the innocent civilians that have died as a result of the war. Those people didn't have a choice.

6.11.08

Tips for Life

Don't crush 15 beers in a matter of hours when you have to be up for work @ 4am. You might not wake up.

In other news, the injury bug continues to haunt goalies this year, particularly Vezina caliber goalies (I'm looking @ you Chris Mason!). First Fat Brodeur, now Nabokov, who's next?

Remember Clint? Remember when he tried to shoot himself in the face? No? It's ok, the neck slitting incident is way cooler, because there were cameras there!

This just in, Paul Kariya's MRI results:




From now on, anytime a team discloses a "lower body injury", assume this is it.

Beggar's Banquet



I have just received yet another beautiful phone call informing me that I will be witnessing a National Hockey League game tonight, live, free of mother fucking charge. Fro those of you keeping score, that is my 3rd free game in 12 days. That is what we call in the freeloading business as the moocher's trifecta. So long suckers, bitch is off to eat himself some footlong food.

Side Note: The above pick is of Zach Hamill doing his best Cornholio impression. What does this have to do with anything? Blow me, that's what.

4.11.08

Kris Versteeg looks like he would be fun to drink with.



I could give you the lowdown on what the hell is going on here, but Greg does it so much better. Just rest assured that Kris exists, and leave it at that.

What the Hull crawled up Modano's ass?

“It was idiotic and stupid,” Modano told the Dallas Morning News. “It was one of the most embarrassing things I’ve seen. If that’s what we’re going for, then they need to find me an office job.”

These were Modano's comments in response to a loss against the Bruins, in which the following transpired:



Some things I took from this video:

a)Steve Ott is sub-human.
b)Announcers who don't know much of anything can make up for it with references to Sean Avery being ripped limb from limb, especially if you infer that it would be weird not to want to see that happen.
c)Matty Niskanen is a pretty little boy.
d)Why is a pretty little boy fighting?
e)These teams should play more often.
f)I need an "I hate Peyton Manning" T-shirt.
g)It's been too long since I saw the Churla hit:



The various news sources where I read about Modano's comments , made it sound like they were directed solely @ Avery. I would guess Avery factors in, but Ott seems like the big fucking pussy here. I suppose when you put more than one guy on a team that won't back his shit up, old man Modano gets pissed off.

And thus it seems Hull managed to get his team an identity, something to the effect of the whiny yellow-belly shitdisturbers.

Side note: It pains me that Don Cherry worked his way into this post. I suppose vermin always turn up where you don't want them.

Brodeur out 3-4 months



Looks like being called "fat" leads to injuries. Knabibulin will be there within two weeks...



...Bill Cosby sweater and all.

3.11.08

Nick Kypreos Vs. Gregg Zaun

It's a long and boring story, but apparently Toronto Blue Jay Gregg Zahn was running his mouth about hockey to Nick Kypreos and it ended up in a televised shoot-out with Zaun in net.

Zaun has never played hockey in his life, and can barely skate, and Kypreos played 442 carrer NHL games, and can barely skate. So I say this match up is fairly even.



Only Nick Kypreos could make a story like this so fucking boring. I hope when they do the follow up at the SkyDome, he gets beaned in the skull. Live concusions, now that's good TV.

2.11.08

I just found a photo.



I pride myself a bastard of the english language, but I am at a loss for words. Please help.

Oh Ryan,....say it ain't so



It appears that Ryan Kesler of the Vancouver Canucks is hoping to join Mr. Tlusty and Mr. Commodore in some amateur bedroom photobiographical antics, internet style. What's with this generation? You would never see photos of Bobby Hull show up like this (not that there aren't 100's of them floating around probably). I get the feelinhg that guy was into some filthy shit.

Hockey Interviews Suck

I would like to start by apologizing for my flurry of posts. I'm sure I will run out of rants soon enough. Or not.

Anyhow, hockey interviews blow. I am pretty fucking tired of listening to the same drivel come out of every player's mouth since the beginning of time (Avery and a few others being the exception to the rule). Talking about "winning the battles" and "key faceoff wins" and "a couple of big saves" is a bunch of shit they can get paid for when they take Pierre McGuires job.



They are actually so bad that I had a nightmare of a time trying to find one on youtube. Or maybe I was just too lazy drunk to get a good scour in. I did, however, find something of unparalleled awesomeness:



Maybe hockey interviews aren't so bad after all.



Or maybe Snoop D O Double-Gizzle just put them to all to shame.

The Crying Game in A Minor

Alexander Nikulin, C Ottawa Senators 2008/11/02: According to various reports, Ottawa Senators forward prospect Alexander Nikulin, currently toiling with the AHL's Binghamton Senators, has demanded a trade. If he doesn't get it, he is threatening to bolt to the KHL. The 23-year-old Nikulin has produced two goals in five games with the baby Sens this season. (Courtesy of theforecaster.com)

Threats and promises. Sounds to me like he wants to get back to pounding Russian poontang instead of having drinks thrown in his face by eastern canadian sluts for his broken english and off-colour russian hand gestures.



This picture leads me to beleive he is making the right decision.

Below is a link to another shitty place on the internet where people jerk off to hockey. It has a link to his blog, which unfortunately is in Russian. What is fortunate, is that a good chunk of readers posted their support of his "great attitude" after some Communist took the time to translate one of his posts. Quitters might not always win, but they definitely can garner accolades from douchbags.

http://hfboards.com/showthread.php?t=416488

Top Ten Hockey Nicknames....EVER!....(Part 2)



So way back in August or September or something, HockeyDump contributor Jason Towers made a list of the top hockey nicknames of all time. I have decided to add to this list? Why? Because it's a slow news day for hockey, ok? Give me a fucking break.

So since he claims his are the Top 10, I guess mine have to be numbered 11-20. Click on the link above to see Mr.Towers version of things.
  • 20 - Larry "Little Dempsey" Aurie
  • 19 - Max "Dipsy-Doodle-Dandy" Bentley
  • 18 - Alex "Fats" Delvecchio
  • 17 - Marcel "Little Beaver" Dionne
  • 16 - Tie "The Albanian Assassin" Domi
  • 15 - Jimmy "The Blonde Bouncer" Fowler
  • 14 - Tom "Tommy Non-Stopoulos" Koustopoulos
  • 13 - Bernie "The Pumpernicholl Kid" Nicholls
  • 12 - Nels "Old Poison" Stewart
  • 11 - Henrik" The Iceberg" Zetterberg

Honourable mention goes to Joe "The Duke of Padocah" Klukay for being a Duke, and for being from Padocah. Both great feats.

1.11.08

Don Cherry and THE WAR!

I am pretty tired of listening to Don Cherry force his insecurities on us. He is obviously guilt-stricken over the fact he did not serve in the military like the rest of his family before him. I realized how much I hated this guy during today's Coach's Corner.



He was going off about the war, and they showed some clip of him over in a graveyard in France (doesn't he hate French people?). He knelt over in front of a tombstone and started waxing idiotical about war vets like he knew this guy and as if he himself had been in the war. Then he told me what I should be thinking when I buy my poppy this year. At that point I decided I wasn't going to buy a poppy. Then I remembered that my grandfather Arthur almost died in a POW camp, and realized it would be pretty shallow of me to not buy a poppy and support everything he fought for just because Don Cherry deserves to die in a fire.



Anyone who listens to anything Don Cherry says and takes it to heart should probably take some time to consider offing themselves. The fact that he's a latent-homosexual, racist, pompous, insecure narcissist doesn't even have to be your reason. This video should be more than enough:



The fact he was voted 7th "Greatest Canadian" makes be embarrased to be one. I'm guessing that's right between The Tragically Hip and The Trailer Park Boys. Seriously, who lives in this country? At least we don't have one of these in Vancouver:



If they ever open one I will have to leave town.

Arch your backs, my dear ladies of St. Louis

Janne Pesonen, LWPittsburgh Penguins 2008/11/01: The Pittsburgh Penguins have recalled Finnish winger Janne Pesonen from the AHL's Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins. To make room for Pesonen on injured reserve, the Penguins have placed Pascal Dupuis (undisclosed) on injured reserve. Also, Pesonen will replace Ruslan Fedotenko (undisclosed) in the Pens lineup on Saturday at St. Louis. (Source theforecaster.com)

This creep is going to do big things tonight!



If this video has been posted already, I do NOT apologize. I am going to play this song @ my wedding, barmitzvah and funeral.

And now, a picture of a Finnish reporter invading Janne's personal space.



I may have to pay my local cable provider to have a peek at this game.

All wide-eyed like the rest.



Did you know that hockey players with wide faces tend to be more aggressive than players born without such gifts? Do you know how I know this? Because that is what Canadian scientists do with their time, They try and figure out ways to accurately scout the tendencies of hockey players, (I'm assuming to bolster their own teams in the office pool).

So basically, they did a study that found that players with a large width to height ratio were more proned to taking penalties than those without. They figure the wide face may have evolved as a way of signalling aggresive behavior. I figure there has to be a better things we could have these guys researching. Do we have a cure for cancer yet? No? Oh, well maybe we should settle down on the hockey sciences until we open a few more doors on that end. I don't know, maybe I'm just a bleeding heart liberal that way.

Read more about it at LiveScience.com here. It might have some more good insight. I wouldn't know, because I didn't read the whole article, but I did need to go to the bathroom. So I guess they even out.